Yes, you read that title correctly, although to be fair, I always knew the Internet was full of lies. I had suspicions that Pinterest was full of Bullshit and experience says, “Why yes, yes it is”.
Last weekend, while my husband and step-son were out of town, I decided I would be productive. I planted my cat grass and herb garden that had been sitting in the bags for 3 weeks now and got this idea in my head to make some crock pot recipes to freeze so that in the future I can defrost those babies and go to town.
First thing I did was decided I would pick a reasonable number of crock pot bags to make. Eight sounded totally doable. I wasn’t going to go all crazy and do 40 (NOPE) and I wasn’t brave enough to even think about 20, 15, or 10.
In fact my first post about the subject on my Facebook page was very excited and lighthearted:
“I am about to embark on a new venture. Going to make 8 crockpot meals in bags to freeze. I’ll let you know if the baby or cats ends up in a bag instead of Thai chicken in peanut sauce. (Just kidding don’t call CPS)”
The last comment from me was around 4:15pm. As I was cleaning up my kitchen, which looked like I had cooked 8 meals in a speed race. It looked like a train hit it.
“I’ll write up a blog post. I’m like worn out for reals. It sucks.”
First of all this a Pinterest link to the page that started me on this whole project (sent as a link from my friend Melanie). In case you consider Pinterest the devil and won’t go follow that link I will tell you the title:
Let me just bring this shit down a notch, k? First of all 40 meals in 4 hours. NOPE. More like 8 meals in 2.5 hours. Yes I drank a beer. Yes I had a 7 month old to take care of. Yes I was dodging around 2 cats who kept getting under my feet because of the raw meat. But still – by the end of it all I was sweating. For real. And the thing is I didn’t even have to hand chop my veggies. I used my new cuisinart chopper!!!! I didn’t need to do anything but cut the pork chops from a pork loin!
The myth is that this can be done for dirt cheap.
Folks – the struggle is REAL. I bought everything on SALE and used coupons. I didn’t buy EVERYTHING because I had purchased meat and sauces and stuff prior to this. Just from what I purchased on the day I went grocery shopping each CrockPot Baggie costs 18 dollars. EIGHTEEN DOLLARS. I used almost 17 dollars in discounts from coupons and MVP at Food Lion and STILL came out at 18 dollars a baggie.
The days of dollar chopped meat are gone. 1.68 a pound for chicken wasn’t happening. And I bought the red sticker chicken and STILL it wasn’t that cheap.
So now that the basics are established I’ll lay out exactly what I did. Here’s a pdf of my recipes. I used a mixture of recipes from the above website and from other websites. All recipes were modified in the end by me. Here’s what I added to almost all recipe: salt, pepper, and garlic. Some, if I felt the sauce wasn’t enough, I added some chicken stock because I had an open container. I tasted each sauce before adding in the meat so it was seasoned well and most of them tasted great. Except the Chicken Cacciatore, I didn’t taste that sauce, that was the last one I did and IDGAF at that point. I was sweating.
First thing I did was crack open a Corona. I need to drink this stuff, it was bought the day I brought my son home from the hospital. He’s 7 months old. So first thing I did was crack open OLD beer and drink it.
Then I decided to label all the bags. Clearly by the middle I had forgotten what some of the recipes were so I just labeled them as closely as I could remember.
A neat trick, either the above website or another, showed me. I took the baggie and held it up in my blender jar. I usually do this with a cylindrical tupperware I have but I couldn’t find it. The blender jar can’t hold as much as my tupperware though.
I have a new Cuisinart immersion blender with a chopper attachment. I thought I would give that a whirl. It works pretty good except that a lot of times you get a single chunk of some veggie that you have to chop again after emptying the chopping thing. Here’s a picture because it’s beautiful!!! Stainless steel and dishwasher safe. BOOYAH.
After 2.5 hours of making the stuff. I was done with the Chicken Cacciatore when I knocked it a bit over. Spilled some on the cabinet and on the floor. Not a lot. But enough to totally piss me off. I was tired, my back hurt, and I was sweating and now I have tomato sauce to clean up? Why can’t the cats want to lick that up?
Here’s a large glorious picture of the CrockPot Baggies all done!!!! In the end it wasn’t worth it. The time and the energy just wasn’t worth it. I would recommend doing like 3 on a Saturday and that would be enough to make life easier during the week. But you know what would make life even sweeter while crockpotting? THESE BAD BOYS:
I bought some of these because LazyTown – population 2 (Tricia and me!).
For the record I had some frozen chicken fingers I bought, ON SALE, for 4 dollars. I decided to make the Garlic Honey Chicken recipe. So I put all the stuff together in a baggie and set it in the fridge, then set out the crock pot with the slow cooker liner in it. I then took the rice cooker down and set that on the counter. This morning I tossed the rice and water in the rice cooker and put the baggie of Garlic Honey chicken in the crock pot and it’s been sitting cooking since 8am. I hope there’s enough sauce. At least I know the rice will be good. That took me like maybe 5 minutes last night and 10 minutes this morning. that’s 15 minutes total. So that took me 15 minutes (and I hand chopped the garlic) and multiply that by 8 baggies that’s 2 hours minimum. There’s no way in hell a normal human being with normal human powers can make 40 crock pot baggies in 4 hours. Sorry to burst your bubble, Internet, but it’s NOT POSSIBLE. At least if you are a normal human, like me.
I don’t know how the recipes tasted but the sauces didn’t taste too bad so I assume it will all be edible.